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timtamslam

Offline (the 12/04/2014 at 5:45am) | Search for a member

timtamslam

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2985
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About timtamslam : .

timtamslam's page activity

Visits<b>constipation</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 1:54pm<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:17pm<b>rabidbunniez</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:10pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Jaager</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 7:51pm<b>jalenlounis</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:58pm<b>wildsweetchild</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:20am<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:40am<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 12:05am<b>windell</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 11:37pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:33am<b>BrittanyHen</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 12:39pm<b>Smorg_z16</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 10:35pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 7:19pm<b>Blue_Black</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 12:56am<b>rob02</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:58am<b>mLove395</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:52pm<b>Catkam623</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 12:27pm

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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timtamslam's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

#12284629
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73887) - you deserved it (4265)

On 08/03/2010 at 8:11am - love - by Broken (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi)

Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML

#11528096
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33140) - you deserved it (12031)

On 06/28/2010 at 10:21pm - work - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

#10433872
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36905) - you deserved it (9504)

On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States

Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML

#10398806
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37603) - you deserved it (5189)

On 05/07/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SkiMaskFukd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

#9066532
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23312) - you deserved it (9526)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

#8968653
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9286) - you deserved it (24989)

On 03/10/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by RyanM (man) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19440) - you deserved it (2153)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

#8265301
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19535) - you deserved it (4882)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML

#7906309
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31807) - you deserved it (2475)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:01pm - intimacy - by michelle - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

#7518795
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34816) - you deserved it (5877)

On 01/23/2010 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML

#7300366
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10193) - you deserved it (31389)

On 01/12/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by loveade11 - Sent from mobile version

Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML

#7295020
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8973) - you deserved it (20546)

On 01/12/2010 at 2:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sparring with a guy in my Tae Kwon Do class. He had a hard-on the entire time we were sparring. FML

#7211389
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28258) - you deserved it (3619)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:30am - misc - by snickerdoodles - Sent from mobile version

 Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

#7078768
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26573) - you deserved it (2951)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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