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timtamslam

Offline (the 09/16/2014 at 7:25am) | Search for a member

timtamslam

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1813
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About timtamslam : .

timtamslam's page activity

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timtamslam's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18683) - you deserved it (64863)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, I realised that my husband's vows were actually the love speech from 'When Harry Met Sally'. This was made even more humiliating when I discovered that he hadn't even come up with the idea himself, he had seen it in an episode of Scrubs. FML

#14696997
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32783) - you deserved it (4612)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:50am - love - by tina247 -

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

#14190731
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31427) - you deserved it (3698)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss texted me to say the office was closed because of the snow. I begged him to let me go in anyway because I had nothing to do all day. I have no life, friends or hobbies. FML

#14118348
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24542) - you deserved it (10934)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:13am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML

#14114912
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21835) - you deserved it (3698)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:28am - work - by anonymous-canada -

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60786) - you deserved it (8951)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, I was in the middle of enjoying a really good book while in a waiting room. Someone saw what I was reading and thought it would be cool if she leaned over and told me everything that happens. FML

#14067824
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27932) - you deserved it (2642)

On 12/03/2010 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a back-up girl if we break up. FML

#13995270
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29930) - you deserved it (3980)

On 11/27/2010 at 1:38am - love - by smiles22 - United States

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31199) - you deserved it (5290)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I went through my spam folder. I found out that I'd received several emails telling me that I have been sending emails containing essays for a class of mine to the wrong address. The term ended yesterday. FML

#13759888
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23151) - you deserved it (10321)

On 11/08/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16107) - you deserved it (25992)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking and I jokingly stated "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML

#13180863
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12735) - you deserved it (68555)

On 09/24/2010 at 7:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was driving through my neighborhood when I heard a siren. I looked into my rear view mirror and saw a motorcycle, so I pulled over. The motorcycle drove by, and it turned out to be an old lady with a leather jacket. The siren was in a song on the radio. FML

#13163125
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7393) - you deserved it (23975)

On 09/22/2010 at 10:29pm - misc - by joshualover (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I argued whether getting a period or boner in the middle of class was worse. At the dinner table. FML

#12986098
385 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (12307)

On 09/10/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Me - United States (Washington)

Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

#12930514
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32635) - you deserved it (15245)

On 09/06/2010 at 6:45am - misc - by Myself - United States



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