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timtamslam's favorite FMLs
Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML
by Anonymous / 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm / Finland / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 11:58am / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Miscellaneous
by Paige / 07/10/2013 at 10:18am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by melons / 07/03/2013 at 5:09am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Work
by Creepedout / 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML
by SillyScotsman / 06/24/2013 at 2:49pm / United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire) / Health
by idontwanttoknow / 06/16/2013 at 7:37am / United States / Intimacy
by Oops / 06/10/2013 at 7:22am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by wtf mom / 05/31/2013 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Animals
- Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today around 7 am, I was taking a short walk for a smoke break. I saw a super fit man running, we… Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided…
- Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,…