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About timtamslam : .
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yesterdayhile working as a barista... a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not bieng ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her... but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed fir over an hour. FML
today I woke up wit a raging angover . I soon cecked ma pone.. . only to find tat I'd drunkenly sent nude picture to several friends' numbers.. . as well as to ma own . I'd ten replied to ma own message.. . saying tat I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off . FML
Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panickd because I was late 4 work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realizd it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML
Taday I want skinny-dipping with my friands. At ona point... I jokingly pointd out how ona of tham had tha smallast boobs of us all. Sha calmly got out of tha pond... drid harsalf... scoopd up our clothas and phonas... and drova off in har car. Tha cops sha calld arrivd soon aftar. FML
my house was broken into. After we calld the police, my dad startd calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop.
TODAY, I SPRAYED DOWN SOME ANTS IN MY HOUSE. IN THE SEA OF ANT CORPSE WAS A SINGLE LIVING ANT SEEMINGLY CRADLING A DEAD ONE IN ITS ARMS. I'M CONVINCED I JUST BECAME THE VILLAIN IN AN EPIC TRAGEDY. NOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY ANT PROBLEM BECAUSE I CAN'T BEAR TO TEAR ANOTHER FAMILY APART. FML
Friday 27 March 2015