Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

timtamslam

Offline (the 12/04/2014 at 5:45am) | Search for a member

timtamslam

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2711
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About timtamslam : .

timtamslam's page activity

Visits<b>constipation</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 1:54pm<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:17pm<b>rabidbunniez</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:10pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Jaager</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 7:51pm<b>jalenlounis</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:58pm<b>wildsweetchild</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:20am<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:40am<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 12:05am<b>windell</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 11:37pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:33am<b>BrittanyHen</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 12:39pm<b>Smorg_z16</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 10:35pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 7:19pm<b>Blue_Black</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 12:56am<b>rob02</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:58am<b>mLove395</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:52pm<b>Catkam623</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 12:27pm

timtamslam's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of timtamslam's badges

timtamslam's favorite FMLs

yesterdayhile working as a barista... a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not bieng ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her... but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed fir over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39587) - you deserved it (4808)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

TODAY , MY BOYFRIEND SAID THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE TO MARRY ME BECAUSE WE COINCIDENTALLY HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME. FML

#21200981
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44184) - you deserved it (4982)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burnd to death it flung its charrd body at my face hich is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39719) - you deserved it (3100)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so,hat . I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer . FML

#20936378
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27802) - you deserved it (41187)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, mah job application got denid once again. I lookd over it, and saw that mah roommate addd ( screwing over customers ) and ( hiding dead bodies ) under mah skills. FML

#20927127
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43770) - you deserved it (6507)

On 10/20/2013 at 2:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

today I woke up wit a raging angover . I soon cecked ma pone.. . only to find tat I'd drunkenly sent nude picture to several friends' numbers.. . as well as to ma own . I'd ten replied to ma own message.. . saying tat I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off . FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27297) - you deserved it (39160)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panickd because I was late 4 work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realizd it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40660) - you deserved it (6939)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today hile on vacation I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46994) - you deserved it (2539)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Taday I want skinny-dipping with my friands. At ona point... I jokingly pointd out how ona of tham had tha smallast boobs of us all. Sha calmly got out of tha pond... drid harsalf... scoopd up our clothas and phonas... and drova off in har car. Tha cops sha calld arrivd soon aftar. FML

#20861665
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (65578)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woka up to a warm bd, tha morning sunlight bathing mah faca, an mah boyfriand snaaking mah cradit card out of mah pursa. FML

#20860538
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44675) - you deserved it (3682)

On 08/30/2013 at 4:31pm - money - by -_- (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

my house was broken into. After we calld the police, my dad startd calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop.

TODAY, I SPRAYED DOWN SOME ANTS IN MY HOUSE. IN THE SEA OF ANT CORPSE WAS A SINGLE LIVING ANT SEEMINGLY CRADLING A DEAD ONE IN ITS ARMS. I'M CONVINCED I JUST BECAME THE VILLAIN IN AN EPIC TRAGEDY. NOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY ANT PROBLEM BECAUSE I CAN'T BEAR TO TEAR ANOTHER FAMILY APART. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48111) - you deserved it (23138)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

YESTERDAY, MY 18-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER TEXTED ME AND TOLD ME THAT SHE GOT IN A CAR CRASH. SHE TEXTED, "I FORGOT WICH WAY WUS LEFT LOL" AND THEN QUICKLY ADDED "YOLO RIGHT? LOL". FML

#20814697
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59143) - you deserved it (10592)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

YESTERDAY, I AD MA FRST WET DREAM. I WOKE UP SWEATING AN SOAKING WET. TOO BAD I DREAMED ABOUT AVING INTENSE SEX WIT A CARDBOARD BOX. FML

#20813339
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53664) - you deserved it (8526)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

TODAY, MY HORSE FARTED AN SCARED ITSELF, THEN RAN ALL THE WAY UP THE HILL AN WOULDN'T STOP UNTIL I FELL OFF. MEGA FML

#20807336
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47952) - you deserved it (4030)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: