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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8896) - you deserved it (11231)
On 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by FavreFan99 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (5495)
On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6313) - you deserved it (35219)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22002) - you deserved it (5185)
On 12/16/2009 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17082) - you deserved it (8081)
On 12/14/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Gassy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5486) - you deserved it (24801)
On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28948) - you deserved it (7247)
On 11/29/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by ? - United States
Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7450) - you deserved it (19806)
On 11/26/2009 at 4:22am - animals - by MouseChaser (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9497) - you deserved it (31890)
On 11/24/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by xkellybabyyx - United States (Connecticut)
Today, after a long day of cleaning, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Reaching for what I thought was Pam I coated my bread with spray and put my sandwich in the pan. Pledge makes a great looking sandwich, but the lemony flavor tastes like crap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5483) - you deserved it (18361)
On 11/19/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5179) - you deserved it (52008)
On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (6619)
On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my son's teacher told me that I should take my son to the doctor, because he has been complaining of bad headaches. They ran some tests, and then removed a peanut that's apparently been lodged in his nose for months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24459) - you deserved it (3662)
On 10/23/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by CarolinaD - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my mom said I was the worst of her 5 children. My IQ is 130, an honor student, I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, or do drugs. I'm the "worst" because I don't go to church every Sunday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36780) - you deserved it (7766)
On 10/12/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by worst (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12639) - you deserved it (25888)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Monday 17 June 2013
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