Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (46 minutes ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 November 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2388
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About tim374 : I usually just read FMLs on here and then the comments sometimes.

tim374's page activity

Visits<b>Damafia</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 12:10am<b>lukian</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 6:53pm<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 10:11am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 6:11am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:48am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 3:20am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 2:05am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:54pm<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 1:37pm<b>skye147</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 6:13pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:16pm<b>columbusthecat</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 3:45am<b>dontthinkso</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Dexter83</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 6:23am<b>mr_mac81</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 4:50pm<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 6:18am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:53pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 2:44pm

Fucked!<b>lukian</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 10:23am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:20am<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:16pm

tim374's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of tim374's badges

tim374's favorite FMLs

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML


I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (2638)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse, but then my Dad asked me if I had a condom they could use. FML

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25177) - you deserved it (5227)

On 07/22/2015 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML


I agree, your life sucks (30806) - you deserved it (5125)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was so incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12640) - you deserved it (38392)

On 07/17/2015 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33849) - you deserved it (2476)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27246) - you deserved it (2008)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:20pm - work - by don't get paid enough for this (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29675) - you deserved it (4339)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31328) - you deserved it (2188)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25529) - you deserved it (4378)

On 06/27/2015 at 3:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32148) - you deserved it (2336)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to visit my mother after many years. Her hoarding has gotten so bad that now the house is entirely filled with junk and garbage, and she is camping out in the jungle of a backyard, cooking on a cauldron over a fire and shitting in the compost pile, with no working heat or water. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26230) - you deserved it (2086)

On 06/25/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by childofcrazy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, some asshat ran onto the road and tried and jump over my car as I drove by. He didn't make the jump. FML

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30494) - you deserved it (4054)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29145) - you deserved it (3209)

On 06/14/2015 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: