Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tim374

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

tim374

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 November 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1299
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About tim374 : I usually just read FMLs on here and then the comments sometimes.

tim374's page activity

Visits<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 10:11am<b>senthilistic</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 6:54am<b>imbatmanfir</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:36am<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:29am<b>qdawg06</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 10:55am<b>TanzWolf</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 7:11pm<b>fatimawazhere</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:36pm<b>xalex1218</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 5:35pm<b>brendejafulable</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:14am<b>Jdxr885</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:33pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 9:12pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 9:17pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:21pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 10:14am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 8:06am<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:19am<b>rainbowdog</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 6:39pm

tim374's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

See all of tim374's badges

tim374's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30818) - you deserved it (22820)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML

#20187584
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (10711)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (3398)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29041) - you deserved it (3159)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

#20164798
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27896) - you deserved it (2310)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19670) - you deserved it (7087)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML

#20147982
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (8567)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9034) - you deserved it (25594)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

#20145644
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23586) - you deserved it (1724)

On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

#20145633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27692) - you deserved it (3125)

On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

#20142730
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18207) - you deserved it (1502)

On 11/01/2012 at 9:52am - work - by tmi. - Australia

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24183) - you deserved it (4301) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

#20133872
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18858) - you deserved it (2668)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: