About tim374 : I usually just read FMLs on here and then the comments sometimes.
tim374's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
tim374's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML
by Anonymous / 01/03/2016 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Miscellaneous
Today, after dating this girl for 3 months, I finally introduced her to my friends. She looked panicked during the date, and after it she broke up with me. When I asked why, she told me she could try to deal with a black friend, but not with a gay one. I've been dating a moron all this time. FML
by Alien / 12/29/2015 at 6:07am / Switzerland / Love
Today at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML
by peachass / 12/28/2015 at 11:59pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 12:40am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2015 at 6:47pm / Australia (South Australia) / Love
Today, my husband finally revealed that he's been secretly buying a particular brand of spicy chicken, eating it on his way home from work. He does it because it makes his farts smell just the way he likes it under the duvet when we go to bed. FML
by tara / 12/18/2015 at 12:49pm / Switzerland (Zug) / Miscellaneous
by periods / 12/18/2015 at 11:37am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2015 at 8:34am / Sri Lanka (Western) / Transportation
by NewMom1115 / 12/17/2015 at 5:53pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by AlwaysRejected / 12/10/2015 at 10:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by MrRadin / 12/04/2015 at 12:31am / France / Money
Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML
by yayibs / 12/03/2015 at 10:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, my boss confirmed he is a micro-managing asshole. We walked into the office together and I turned on the lights. He switched them off and switched them on again, just to make sure that I did it right. FML
by fabz / 11/27/2015 at 7:39am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/23/2015 at 9:19am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by ugh, why / 11/22/2015 at 12:12am / Australia / Intimacy
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…