About tim374 : I usually just read FMLs on here and then the comments sometimes.
tim374's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
tim374's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML
by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 4:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2016 at 11:44am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/26/2016 at 1:13pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by Juju Bear / 03/08/2016 at 6:54am / Miscellaneous
by b5b0n36 / 03/05/2016 at 9:38pm / United States (California) / Health
by injuredwifelady / 02/23/2016 at 3:23am / United States (Nebraska) / Animals
by not satisfied / 02/11/2016 at 12:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Katie1921 / 02/08/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Asian / 02/07/2016 at 2:03pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 7:37am / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 4:55am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML
by sandra / 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/24/2016 at 8:24pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 2:26am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I work as a cashier at McDonalds. Some guy came in and ordered a $1.50 coffee and payed with… Today, during an extremely romantic moment of cuddling with my girlfriend she started to cry, turns… Today, I was climbing up a ladder to clean the gutters. As I was almost on the top step, my little…
- Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…