About tim374 : I usually just read FMLs on here and then the comments sometimes.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24278) - you deserved it (8094)
On 12/02/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (2903)
On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19438) - you deserved it (1873)
On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21054) - you deserved it (1540)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15170) - you deserved it (6209)
On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19973) - you deserved it (1216)
On 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm - health - by pheebs314 - United States (Washington)
Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19797) - you deserved it (6125)
On 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Ugh - United States (California)
Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6907) - you deserved it (17240)
On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)
Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17495) - you deserved it (1112)
On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)
Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18205) - you deserved it (1946)
On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)
Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13203) - you deserved it (977)
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17931) - you deserved it (3067) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)
Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8534) - you deserved it (16075)
On 10/29/2012 at 2:10pm - kids - by JiggaJayZ - United States
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14033) - you deserved it (1834)
On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was fired for actively seeking employment with another company. Because of having just been fired, the other company will no longer give me the time of day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14255) - you deserved it (2833)
On 10/25/2012 at 4:13pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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