Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tim374

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

tim374

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 November 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1224
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About tim374 : I usually just read FMLs on here and then the comments sometimes.

tim374's page activity

Visits<b>senthilistic</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 6:54am<b>imbatmanfir</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:36am<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:29am<b>qdawg06</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 10:55am<b>TanzWolf</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 7:11pm<b>fatimawazhere</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:36pm<b>xalex1218</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 5:35pm<b>brendejafulable</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:14am<b>Jdxr885</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:33pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 9:12pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 9:17pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:21pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 10:14am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 8:06am<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:19am<b>rainbowdog</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 6:39pm<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 3:57pm

tim374's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

See all of tim374's badges

tim374's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26692) - you deserved it (2087)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26599) - you deserved it (2577)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29579) - you deserved it (6084)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32618) - you deserved it (4299)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35615) - you deserved it (3641)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43135) - you deserved it (2710)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35401) - you deserved it (2827)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23460) - you deserved it (36061)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

#21209203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40166) - you deserved it (6014)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm - love - by KaiyaOtaku1 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42415) - you deserved it (5548)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59530) - you deserved it (4304)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

#20878038
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39133) - you deserved it (2833)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:42am - work - by hawkwardd - Australia

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29542) - you deserved it (6155)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38603) - you deserved it (13990)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33096) - you deserved it (19038)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: