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tim374

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tim374
  • Town/Country : Newcastle, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 November 1988 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 430
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About tim374 : I usually just read FMLs on here and then the comments sometimes.

tim374's last visitors

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tim374's FML badges

Perfectionist

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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tim374's favorite FMLs

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24256) - you deserved it (5701)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27555) - you deserved it (9439)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27096) - you deserved it (14051)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML

Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

#20405883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15805) - you deserved it (17820)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

#20405502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9744) - you deserved it (22033)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

#20403594
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24937) - you deserved it (4514)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

#20403401
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34323) - you deserved it (3859)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML

#20401697
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (1736)

On 12/16/2012 at 3:31am - love - by ghost? - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

#20398504
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (3704) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23103) - you deserved it (1232)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24457) - you deserved it (9697)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML

#20196663
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6304) - you deserved it (18268)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:52pm - love - by XxtentaculonxX - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21099) - you deserved it (14560)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)



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