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Today, I was masturbating to a video a friend sent me. The girls were hot, walking out on a stage doing all sorts of sexy manuevers. The video was close to ending and the announcer in the video announced the winner. His name was Dan. It was a drag competition. My friend knew I'd whack off to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16701) - you totally deserved it (76722)
On 04/18/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by Masterbater (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (70315) - you totally deserved it (4232)
On 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm - money - by blaise (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, told me all the things he loved about me, got down on one knee and pulled out the little blue box I had been hoping for, for so long. He opened the box and there was a note inside that said, "April Fools!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (157783) - you totally deserved it (14482)
On 04/01/2009 at 9:44am - love - by twstedillusion (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63200) - you totally deserved it (8030)
On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I called my mom to tell her: "Mom, I finally got my period!" There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44974) - you totally deserved it (14564)
On 03/27/2009 at 3:15pm - health - by Crampon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got a letter from Princeton that said i got accepted. I jumped for joy screaming at the top of my lungs. My little brother walks in laughing with his camcorder on record. He played a joke on me and gave me the real letter. I was denied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (117963) - you totally deserved it (5176)
On 03/25/2009 at 4:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53232) - you totally deserved it (2930)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I unexpectedly got my period at lacrosse practice. Our playing field is a 1/2 mile run away any bathrooms so I headed towards the woods with a tampon. Just as I was about to insert the tampon, the entire boys cross country team ran by... laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (121235) - you totally deserved it (16720)
On 03/15/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by exposed (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (419361) - you totally deserved it (25303)
On 02/09/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
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