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thisthisthis

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thisthisthis

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  • Number of visits : 808
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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thisthisthis's favorite FMLs

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63280) - you deserved it (5121)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

#4061190
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38243) - you deserved it (2912)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21909) - you deserved it (53510)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

#4000083
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58867) - you deserved it (4197)

On 07/24/2009 at 5:04am - love - by Sally (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML

#3998024
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43256) - you deserved it (12584)

On 07/24/2009 at 2:40am - love - by vanguardwiley (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57802) - you deserved it (26180)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my first date with this guy I really like, who came to pick me up. Once I got into his car, my uncle comes out of the house and yells "Remember, pregnant girls aren't allowed to drink." FML

#3978277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42065) - you deserved it (7283)

On 07/23/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by Prego my ego - Sent from mobile version

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

#3956685
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45423) - you deserved it (5177)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by PokeTheBear (man) - Canada

Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML

#3929849
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51877) - you deserved it (5788)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm - love - by sexychica (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

#3907328
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39977) - you deserved it (3245)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:10pm - health - by KnuckleSandwich (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I awoke to find a water pipe burst. I frantically ran down to the basement to turn off the water to the house. What I didn't expect when I reached the bottom of the stairs was to have to start dodging the falling, wet ceiling tiles. FML

#3722390
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40136) - you deserved it (2430)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by jennybrev (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

#3718923
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10957) - you deserved it (52773)

On 07/13/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Matt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML

#3687656
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46293) - you deserved it (21756)

On 07/12/2009 at 4:59am - misc - by whatrights - United States (California)

Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML

#3687656
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46293) - you deserved it (21756)

On 07/12/2009 at 4:59am - misc - by whatrights - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

#3684210
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70923) - you deserved it (12493)

On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)



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