About thisiscat : You've gotta be kitten me, right meow.
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thisiscat's favorite FMLs
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 3:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
by S12Sophia / 05/02/2012 at 6:06pm / France / Intimacy
by gumless / 05/02/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 7:05am / Canada / Love
by muddled / 05/02/2012 at 2:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
by HighasaCloud / 04/30/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
by jessica071509 / 04/24/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2012 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
by jaderie / 04/21/2012 at 5:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Salvation711 / 04/15/2012 at 11:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML
by jordyn173 / 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/06/2012 at 3:24am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML
by whatnow / 03/31/2012 at 10:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…