Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

thisiscat

Search for a member

thisiscat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 March 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2591
  • Number of comments : 128
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About thisiscat : You've gotta be kitten me, right meow.

thisiscat's page activity

Visits<b>Alexv572</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:11pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 10:42am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 10:51am<b>moneymuffen</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 6:58pm<b>Googolman</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 8:53am<b>grace12800</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 1:13pm<b>Majrdestroy</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:13pm<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 7:16am<b>BrendenTaylor</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:16pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 5:01am<b>Tthug</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:01pm<b>straightpride</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:37am<b>singer0421</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 2:56am<b>Vita_1</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:06am<b>artiststatement</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 11:39pm<b>rqsilence</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:26am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:20pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:17am

thisiscat's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of thisiscat's badges

thisiscat's favorite FMLs

Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML

#19656531
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19468) - you deserved it (4614)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26617) - you deserved it (3015)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

#19649582
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8499) - you deserved it (22064)

On 05/20/2012 at 12:06am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25325) - you deserved it (1942)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

#19641486
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21050) - you deserved it (4686)

On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML

#19637650
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26569) - you deserved it (2714)

On 05/17/2012 at 5:07pm - love - by colts609380 - United States (California)

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14484) - you deserved it (25625)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

#19635383
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22812) - you deserved it (1640)

On 05/17/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by secret_source (woman) - United States

Today, I was told I need two root canals. This is because my previous dentist did such a bad job on one of my teeth that the decay went through and transferred to its neighbor. FML

#19622172
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20278) - you deserved it (1895)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:55pm - health - by GrinningCynic - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML

#19621100
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36048) - you deserved it (5941)

On 05/14/2012 at 6:31am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

#19617279
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20999) - you deserved it (2948)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:54pm - kids - by just me (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML

#19615153
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18532) - you deserved it (2500)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:28am - health - by whatevershit - United States (Alabama)

Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML

#19612564
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24313) - you deserved it (3057)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:48pm - animals - by aliqi (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML

#19612395
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25335) - you deserved it (2019)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

#19609899
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8684) - you deserved it (48015)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: