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About thewifey310 : 21yrs of age, love befriending people, im nice ppl so dnt b intimidated (most ppl r :/ ) dnt mistake my kindness for weakness, aknowledge my knowledge. i am very opinionated, i stick to my morals and beliefs. i do for myself wat most ppl cant/wont do for me,point being, id rather do for myself than to have to ask someone else to do for me when im perfectly capeable.
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Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (489) - you deserved it (2831)
On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7217) - you deserved it (700)
On 05/22/2012 at 10:32am - love - by angry girlfriend - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6188) - you deserved it (794)
On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5424) - you deserved it (981)
On 05/19/2012 at 7:05am - health - by GothicAngel17 - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my fiancé emailed me some steamy pics. Too bad he forgot to erase "FWD:" from the subject line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5723) - you deserved it (509)
On 05/18/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by ohyesIfeelspecial (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6032) - you deserved it (685)
On 05/18/2012 at 7:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1499) - you deserved it (12249)
On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -
Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6983) - you deserved it (622)
On 05/18/2012 at 3:22am - animals - by nick - United States
Today, I wanted to prank my roommate. So, I thought it would be funny to take all the toilet paper out of our bathroom. She thought it would be funny to wipe with my cashmere sweater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1398) - you deserved it (11659)
On 05/18/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by Karmaisabitch - United States (Colorado)
Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5509) - you deserved it (545)
On 05/17/2012 at 6:02pm - work - by poseidon5213 - United States (California)
Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6481) - you deserved it (513)
On 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7063) - you deserved it (664)
On 05/17/2012 at 5:07pm - love - by colts609380 - United States (California)
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3458) - you deserved it (5952)
On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1563) - you deserved it (8458)
On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was trying to convince my husband to not trim the lower branches of my favorite tree. After pleading my case, I turned around and ran smack into one of said branches. My face and my dignity still hurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1861) - you deserved it (4094)
On 05/17/2012 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
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