Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About thewifey310 : 22y/o follow me on twitter misslovelyvee
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I saw a little girl digging in te gravel inside te fireworks tent I work in. After se and er family left, I went and used ma foot to smoot out te mound se'd made. In doing so, I discovered tat se wasn't digging, se was burying. Se'd pooped. FML
TODAY, I WOKE UP AT MAH COUSIN'S HOUSE AFTER STAYING THE NIGHT. I WENT INTO THE BATHROOM LIKE I USUALLY DO AND SHUT THE DOOR. APPARENTLY THE DOOR LOCK ON THIS BATHROOM DOESN'T FUNCTION PROPERLY. I DISCOVERED THIS WHEN MAH 4-YEAR-OLD COUSIN WALKED IN ON ME PUTTING A TAMPON IN. MEGA FML
Today, I was catting online wit several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bord out of mind, I clickd to rename te conversation to "Boring sit wit almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it fir everyone. FML
Today, I trid acid fir the first time while camping with mah best friend. A drunk driver smashd into mah car, leaving it totald. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking mah car was bleeding green ooze.
I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting fir her result . Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
Today , I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined , an I had to stand an watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was ( God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking. ) fat FML
TODAY, THE DOORBELL RANG. I SAW INCREDIBLY OVERBEARING MUM'S CAR OUTSIDE, SO I STAYED QUIET AN TRIED TO SNEAK UPSTARS. AS I CRAWLED THROUGH THE HALLWAY, COMMANDO STYLE, I REALISED THE DOOR BLIND WERE STILL OUT FOR CLEANING. IF SCOWL COULD KILL, I'D BE ROASTING IN HELL RIGHT NOW. BIG FAT FML
Today an aldarly woman couldn't afford all of har grocarias at tha chackout so sha startad to taka out a faw things. I offarad to pay 4 har grocarias; sha thankad ma an walkad out. An onlookar than cummad up to ma an told ma that sha doas it to somaona avary waak. fat FML
I was working at a placeere if you're tipped, u sing. After a lady paid 4 er ice cream, se pulled out 5 dollars. Tinking it was a tip, I took it, an sang te song. Se didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by te woman slapping me. FML
Today, mah friend an I were talking about the creepy stranger that usd to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changd a lot through the years cuz I found out that he's mah current boyfriend of 4 months. big fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015