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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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theschweigert

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theschweigert
  • Town/Country : Buffalo, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1985 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 304
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About theschweigert : Ignorant people irritate me

theschweigert's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

theschweigert's favorite FMLs

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

#12343499 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (29994) - you deserved it (3776)

On 08/06/2010 at 12:40am - love - by rugs - United States (Iowa)

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

#12176888 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (21565) - you deserved it (7970)

On 07/29/2010 at 12:14am - intimacy - by GGimabeast (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a call while at the dispatch station for the Naval hospital I work at. It was a woman having a panic attack. Apparently, she couldn't plug her vacuum in, and was more or less freaking out. I had to take her in anyway. FML

#12162115 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (15172) - you deserved it (1632)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:42am - work - by HM (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML

#11954418 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (2712)

On 07/18/2010 at 1:02am - work - by Flyboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (26952) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363112) - you deserved it (401462)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)



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