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Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49360) - you deserved it (2977)
On 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by finallyready (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21337) - you deserved it (4384)
On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31288) - you deserved it (2920)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38784) - you deserved it (8117) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/26/2012 at 11:04pm - love - by Bouh (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38784) - you deserved it (8117) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/26/2012 at 11:04pm - love - by Bouh (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43344) - you deserved it (2491)
On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43344) - you deserved it (2491)
On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)
Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9049) - you deserved it (32042)
On 12/24/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by chunderful202 - United Kingdom (Havering)
Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11358) - you deserved it (24372)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44609) - you deserved it (7275)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13821) - you deserved it (3093)
On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17618) - you deserved it (1337)
On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5385) - you deserved it (26373)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7690) - you deserved it (18912)
On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17145) - you deserved it (975)
On 11/20/2012 at 5:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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