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thepunman

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thepunman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1764
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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thepunman's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML

#16707397
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7428) - you deserved it (31986)

On 06/17/2011 at 3:32am - misc - by seriouslybored (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#16609106
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51870) - you deserved it (6585)

On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

#16551400
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30643) - you deserved it (6099)

On 06/07/2011 at 8:13pm - work - by Bee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

#16479065
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24053) - you deserved it (2888)

On 06/03/2011 at 2:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

#16461868
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29486) - you deserved it (16257)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951
495 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10257) - you deserved it (204204)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I was putting red nail polish on my nails and put a newspaper on the table to make sure that it didn't spill. I later discovered the nail polish made the newspaper stick to the table. I scrubbed nail polish remover on it, thinking it would help but instead bleached the table. FML

#15841509
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10963) - you deserved it (34598)

On 04/18/2011 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37533) - you deserved it (6173)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

#15718198
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46763) - you deserved it (4408)

On 04/10/2011 at 12:42am - love - by torny>horny - United States

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12981) - you deserved it (67010)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28100) - you deserved it (2813)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

#15149183
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25338) - you deserved it (8006)

On 02/28/2011 at 5:55am - love - by notagoodsign (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML

#15098921
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15113) - you deserved it (14843)

On 02/24/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Eric Forrest - United States (Utah)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20193) - you deserved it (40205)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML

#15039071
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25428) - you deserved it (4264)

On 02/19/2011 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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