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thepunman

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thepunman

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  • Number of visits : 2429
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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thepunman's favorite FMLs

Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML

#17871365
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24668) - you deserved it (2484)

On 09/30/2011 at 2:15pm - misc - by hihaay - United States

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35351) - you deserved it (11713)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19943) - you deserved it (43736)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

#17755908
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21576) - you deserved it (2350)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:40am - animals - by izu - United States

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85303) - you deserved it (13082)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, to save money, I bought some meat in bulk. When I got home, I was told that power to the neighborhood was out, and probably would be for days. Rather than let the meat rot, I barbecued it all and gave it away to my neighbors. The power came on while everyone was eating. FML

#17705192
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28200) - you deserved it (3792)

On 09/09/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by SoCalStoopid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

#17698757
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29454) - you deserved it (5407)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm - health - by Mack - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47997) - you deserved it (5740)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML

#17657793
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28860) - you deserved it (2476)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30296) - you deserved it (3414)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35644) - you deserved it (2672)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

#17576599
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31158) - you deserved it (4010)

On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

#17547713
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28411) - you deserved it (2884)

On 08/22/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by rene - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

#17541150
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7272) - you deserved it (61927)

On 08/21/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Rhode Island)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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