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thepunman

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thepunman

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  • Number of visits : 3005
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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thepunman's favorite FMLs

Yesterday, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confrontd her, she claimd she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returnd to our apartment and actually trid to act as if nothing had happend. FML

#19868224
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43491) - you deserved it (2523)

On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after looool getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

#19851648
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23706) - you deserved it (1663)

On 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today... I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minute to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML

#19850221
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (3105)

On 06/26/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by EdgardoP - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today mah boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well until he tried to putted it in. A few minutes later he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

#19763294
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31500) - you deserved it (4952)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)

Today I was taxting my girlfriand and askad har fir a pictura axpacting somathing provocativa . Sha sant ma a pictura of har holding a positiva pragnancy tast . Wa had sax onca . FML

#19758301
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15658) - you deserved it (41850)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today I was taxting my girlfriand and askad har fir a pictura axpacting somathing provocativa . Sha sant ma a pictura of har holding a positiva pragnancy tast . Wa had sax onca . FML

#19758301
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15658) - you deserved it (41850)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

TODAY, MY COLLEAGUE YET AGAIN MISUSED THE WORD ( LITERALLY. ) IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE. I HAVE TO WORK OPPOSITE HIM AND HEAR HIM SAY THINGS LYK HE'S JUST ( LITERALLY SHIT HIMSELF INSIDE OUT. ) FML

#19656531
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19496) - you deserved it (4615)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Yesterday, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at mah head.

#19586621
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22007) - you deserved it (5267)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:08am - misc - by thepigeonsfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh looool hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since yur initial rip." FML

#19489197
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24329) - you deserved it (5912)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong

TODAY, I HAVE BEEN AWAKE SO LONG I HALLUCINATED A LLAMA IN LIVING ROOM. I HAVE A MEDICAL CONDITION THAT KEEPS ME FROM SLEEPING PROPERLY. I'VE RUN OUT OF MEDICATION. I STILL SEE THE LLAMA. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (2667)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

TODAY, I HAVE BEEN AWAKE SO LONG I HALLUCINATED A LLAMA IN LIVING ROOM. I HAVE A MEDICAL CONDITION THAT KEEPS ME FROM SLEEPING PROPERLY. I'VE RUN OUT OF MEDICATION. I STILL SEE THE LLAMA. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (2667)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, mah mom started dipping into mah college savings, just so she can continue throwing money away on visiting a medium who claims she can channel the spirit of our recently-deceased family dog. FML

#19472692
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (1740)

On 04/15/2012 at 1:38pm - animals - by really mom (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a party, wan ta cops bustad us. Sinca I'm undaraga, I id baind a cair fir an our and a alf wila tay braatalyzad avaryona and sat tam in ta sama room I was in. Ta cops laft, avaryona raalizad I was baind ta cair, and looool now ma nicknama is "Anna Frank". maga FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15381) - you deserved it (35686)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a party, wan ta cops bustad us. Sinca I'm undaraga, I id baind a cair fir an our and a alf wila tay braatalyzad avaryona and sat tam in ta sama room I was in. Ta cops laft, avaryona raalizad I was baind ta cair, and looool now ma nicknama is "Anna Frank". maga FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15381) - you deserved it (35686)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today... I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments an subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable... she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML

#19449584
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7715) - you deserved it (38401)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:46pm - work - by Spudzy (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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