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Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22704) - you deserved it (2493)
On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States
Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9849) - you deserved it (49725)
On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)
Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22070) - you deserved it (1455)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by francesa_loca - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (7812)
On 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm - kids - by kewtness_17 - United States (Texas)
Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19826) - you deserved it (2093)
On 09/30/2011 at 2:15pm - misc - by hihaay - United States
Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28443) - you deserved it (8521)
On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16116) - you deserved it (32333)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19725) - you deserved it (1726)
On 09/17/2011 at 2:56am - misc - by ironik970 - United States (Colorado)
Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16275) - you deserved it (1591)
On 09/16/2011 at 1:40am - animals - by izu - United States
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71577) - you deserved it (9138)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, to save money, I bought some meat in bulk. When I got home, I was told that power to the neighborhood was out, and probably would be for days. Rather than let the meat rot, I barbecued it all and gave it away to my neighbors. The power came on while everyone was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22430) - you deserved it (2719)
On 09/09/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by SoCalStoopid (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22798) - you deserved it (3921)
On 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm - health - by Mack - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23859) - you deserved it (2105)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (2529)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25990) - you deserved it (2895)
On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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