Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

thepunman

Search for a member

thepunman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3591
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

thepunman's page activity

Visits<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:26pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 6:29am<b>angiemarie96</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:27am<b>Roskie</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 5:43am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 1:59pm<b>deathscale500</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 11:22pm<b>whyhellothere123</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 1:51am<b>Gabe9368</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 1:11pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 4:52pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 4:50am<b>LilyLi</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:33pm<b>fiddydiddydoo</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:28am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 5:55pm<b>michelleJ11</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 9:48pm<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 12:57am<b>tigerfish</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 5:16pm<b>emanresuusername</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Anthony805</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 12:53am

thepunman's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of thepunman's badges

thepunman's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32218) - you deserved it (6619)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after complaining that I had nothing to write about in my weekly journal for college, my professor suggested in front of everyone that I should get a girlfriend. FML

#20099593
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20562) - you deserved it (6332)

On 10/03/2012 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10128) - you deserved it (26961)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, an incredibly rude woman came in for a hairdressing appointment. I had to put up with being yelled at and called a "clumsy bitch," a "pleb," and other insults for almost half an hour. When I finally managed to finish her hair, instead of tipping me, she spat at my feet and stormed out. FML

#20093857
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (2080)

On 09/29/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by scumdresser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to bleach my upper lip hair. I now have a bright red mustache. FML

#20093112
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16195) - you deserved it (16808)

On 09/29/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by mustachioed (woman) - United States

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29306) - you deserved it (5170)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30023) - you deserved it (1658)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20942) - you deserved it (5834)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML

#20085093
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26971) - you deserved it (1793)

On 09/23/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28269) - you deserved it (2148)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML

#20084697
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24292) - you deserved it (2389)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:23am - work - by whatisthisidonteven (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML

#20084083
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20122) - you deserved it (7307)

On 09/22/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23713) - you deserved it (9361)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27491) - you deserved it (27452)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, after completely refilling my almost empty gas tank, I witnessed the price flip from $3.69 per gallon to $3.59. FML

#20082194
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27363) - you deserved it (2429)

On 09/21/2012 at 2:49pm - money - by The Drew - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: