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Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7300) - you deserved it (19096)
On 02/04/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by WayTooMuchFacebook (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34247) - you deserved it (2508)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20343) - you deserved it (5894)
On 01/20/2012 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22376) - you deserved it (2870)
On 12/29/2011 at 2:01pm - health - by digressions (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it's Christmas day. Normally, my family would be opening gifts right now. Instead, my mom is holding our gifts hostage until we clean the house. Apparently, "The presents aren't going anywhere." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10364) - you deserved it (21293)
On 12/25/2011 at 12:06pm - misc - by John Nani (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27903) - you deserved it (4965)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25125) - you deserved it (3999)
On 12/15/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by 2285morgan - United States
Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20096) - you deserved it (12885)
On 12/09/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by queenlatifa101bebe (woman) - United States
Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14132) - you deserved it (2559)
On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6165) - you deserved it (47451)
On 12/04/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by Jess - United States (California)
Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20501) - you deserved it (2443)
On 12/03/2011 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by sugarbeet - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47456) - you deserved it (4252) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19157) - you deserved it (2157)
On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4876) - you deserved it (35268)
On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States
Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35605) - you deserved it (2799) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Friday 24 May 2013
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