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thepunman

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thepunman

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  • Number of visits : 2439
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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thepunman's page activity

Visits<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 4:50am<b>LilyLi</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:33pm<b>fiddydiddydoo</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:28am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 5:55pm<b>michelleJ11</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 9:48pm<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 12:57am<b>tigerfish</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 5:16pm<b>emanresuusername</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Anthony805</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 12:53am<b>casafudge</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 4:10pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 2:31pm<b>Spider_Web</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 1:27pm<b>DumbFMLs</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 11:48am<b>Incognito_1924</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 4:59pm<b>Daniel0412</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 6:40pm<b>PoisonEntity</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 4:35pm<b>Delylax4</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 11:35pm<b>shaww</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 7:56pm

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thepunman's favorite FMLs

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, said "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but... nevermind." then shook his head and walked out. FML

#20806774
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37075) - you deserved it (23622)

On 07/27/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by ¬_¬ (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64890) - you deserved it (6586)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

#20804580
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47733) - you deserved it (9213)

On 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm - health - by picklebug (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML

#20804217
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48170) - you deserved it (2564)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:58am - health - by Saddoc (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was finally asked out on a date after a year of being single. Turns out he got the wrong number. FML

#20799037
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44411) - you deserved it (3154)

On 07/23/2013 at 5:51am - love - by foreveralone (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60307) - you deserved it (4383)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54776) - you deserved it (6340)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58449) - you deserved it (12240)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after recovering from pneumonia and a severe asthma attack caused by my dad's fiancée's cat, he chose to keep the cat. I can't go to his house without having to go to the hospital later. FML

#20781390
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41267) - you deserved it (3523)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:35am - health - by coughcough - United States

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

#20779957
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27594) - you deserved it (54188)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML

#20775563
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28431) - you deserved it (36950)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

#20765643
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43179) - you deserved it (4698)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm - misc - by -_- (man) - United States (Michigan)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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