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Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19789) - you deserved it (36916)
On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36367) - you deserved it (15926)
On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)
Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34228) - you deserved it (7196)
On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39647) - you deserved it (2023)
On 04/25/2013 at 3:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26040) - you deserved it (37772)
On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69800) - you deserved it (3085)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35750) - you deserved it (12278)
On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49001) - you deserved it (2871)
On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54655) - you deserved it (9173)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17523) - you deserved it (37491)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23153) - you deserved it (7024) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (3225)
On 04/05/2013 at 7:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36956) - you deserved it (3502)
On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend, who moved in about a month ago, decided he wanted to move back out. Why? Because I don't keep my place clean enough for him. This, coming from the same man who refuses to wash or clean anything because "that's what women are for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30448) - you deserved it (8412)
On 03/26/2013 at 12:15am - love - by ShouldBeSingleSoon (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33173) - you deserved it (1504)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia
Monday 17 June 2013
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