thedreamforce

Search for a member

Offline (the 02/13/2016 at 2:13pm)

thedreamforce

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 July 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2172
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

thedreamforce's page activity

Visits<b>CanadianCutie22</b> - the 05/14/2012 at 7:19pm<b>slim_lady</b> - the 12/27/2011 at 10:19am<b>AliCat18</b> - the 12/10/2011 at 9:00am

thedreamforce's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of thedreamforce's badges

thedreamforce's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML

by stuff2710 / 03/04/2012 at 7:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

by wtf dad / 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

by fmlsomuch / 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

by Jared / 02/25/2012 at 2:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Kids

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old daughter why she can't pull a duck face pose for her driver's license. She still doesn't believe me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2012 at 2:58am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Kids

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2012 at 8:11pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

by brannie / 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

by thosedamnkids / 01/22/2012 at 12:09am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

by Cathy / 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm / United States / Animals