thedreamforce

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Offline (the 02/13/2016 at 2:13pm)

thedreamforce

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 July 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2246
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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thedreamforce's page activity

Visits<b>CanadianCutie22</b> - the 05/14/2012 at 7:19pm<b>slim_lady</b> - the 12/27/2011 at 10:19am<b>AliCat18</b> - the 12/10/2011 at 9:00am

thedreamforce's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of thedreamforce's badges

thedreamforce's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML

by anonymous / 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

by spougeineye1 / 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

by Zack / 04/01/2012 at 5:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML

by Mark Allan / 03/25/2012 at 12:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

by SG / 03/24/2012 at 8:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML

by busfail / 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

by StinkyandStupid / 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

by CierraJordan / 03/14/2012 at 7:31am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

by Rynne S. / 03/13/2012 at 2:12am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

by Tristan Brantley / 03/11/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy