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Offline (the 02/13/2016 at 2:13pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 July 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2647
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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thedreamforce's page activity

Visits<b>CanadianCutie22</b> - the 05/14/2012 at 7:19pm<b>slim_lady</b> - the 12/27/2011 at 10:19am<b>AliCat18</b> - the 12/10/2011 at 9:00am

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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


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thedreamforce's favorite FMLs

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

by TheBeautifulOne / 08/23/2012 at 9:42am / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered the crunching noise your foot will make if you accidentally drop a cement block on it. FML

by flatfoot / 08/09/2012 at 3:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

by yeah okay then / 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

by wetandnaked / 07/09/2012 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

by oh lord / 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2012 at 1:20pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Love

Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

by N / 05/07/2012 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

by Grindyloo / 05/05/2012 at 6:06am / Kids

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

by jessica071509 / 04/24/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML

by ChampionshipVinyl / 04/18/2012 at 2:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I got whiplash from sneezing. FML

by kissrocks4 / 04/11/2012 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Health