thedreamforce

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Offline (the 02/13/2016 at 2:13pm)

thedreamforce

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 July 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2259
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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thedreamforce's page activity

Visits<b>CanadianCutie22</b> - the 05/14/2012 at 7:19pm<b>slim_lady</b> - the 12/27/2011 at 10:19am<b>AliCat18</b> - the 12/10/2011 at 9:00am

thedreamforce's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of thedreamforce's badges

thedreamforce's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

by wiifantcso / 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

by JamiesMom / 05/13/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Michigan) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 11:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

by tcm123 / 10/29/2012 at 12:31am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

by L / 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

by unfortunateMother / 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Kids

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

by weave9z / 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

by Sarah / 08/30/2012 at 8:58am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I discovered why my girlfriend is so obsessed with cutting my nails. She collects my clippings in a jar under her bed. She claims it will keep us together longer. FML

by freaked out / 08/30/2012 at 4:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument which resulted in her begging for a divorce and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 10:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love