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thecatsmeow_xx's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
thecatsmeow_xx's favorite FMLs
by TJFuentes / 02/11/2015 at 8:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML
by EvilBubbles / 01/08/2015 at 10:45pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Intimacy
Today, my friends and I were talking about our celebrity lookalikes. We decided that my friends all had attractive celebrity lookalikes, including Scarlett Johansson and Hayden Panettiere. When it was my turn, they decided that my "celebrity" lookalike is the Pillsbury Doughboy. FML
by KD / 01/04/2015 at 4:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
by allgassedout / 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his jaws. FML
by TaddM21 / 01/01/2015 at 10:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by sexualpopcorn / 12/20/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML
by Heyjai / 12/16/2014 at 9:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML
by blech / 12/08/2014 at 6:08pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by foreveralone / 12/01/2014 at 9:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by fishtacos / 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/30/2014 at 8:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 11/24/2014 at 10:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by Hammy / 11/24/2014 at 9:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by liishax3 / 11/22/2014 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Animals
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too… Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top… Today, my fiancé ended our engagement, saying he wanted to have "one last quickie" for the road. He…