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thecandyswiper

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thecandyswiper

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1791
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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thecandyswiper's page activity

Visits<b>crzyry</b> - the 12/12/2009 at 3:41am<b>Denz</b> - the 07/20/2009 at 10:10am<b>roundnproud</b> - the 06/25/2009 at 12:59am

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thecandyswiper's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into a car accident. I got into it because I noticed a flashy new sign on the highway that read "Being an attentive driver prevents car crashes". Thanks for the notice. FML

#6930680
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23052) - you deserved it (5864)

On 12/24/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by RoxMySox - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest for drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well, actually you were born addicted to heroin, so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML

#6811262
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31670) - you deserved it (3141)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:23pm - health - by drugbaby (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11567) - you deserved it (36774)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work: I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

#6237961
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5811) - you deserved it (47133)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:24am - health - by ID10t (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

#6211004
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23689) - you deserved it (7244)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73908) - you deserved it (5827)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, I got an email from my cute teacher about reminding us to bring stuff for the next lesson. As a joke I clicked on reply and wrote about how I think he is so cute and handsome. Right then and there I clicked to go look at other messages. A little box came up..."MESSAGE SENT". FML

#6206375
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7999) - you deserved it (54722)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by mylifereallysuks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43348) - you deserved it (3273)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was offered to attend a Buddhist ceremony by one of my regular customers. Not wanting to offend the couple, I made an excuse about have a project for oceanography. Surprise, the husband is an oceanographer and wants to help me with my imaginary project. Karma much? FML

#5443877
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9104) - you deserved it (44891)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - work - by whatproject (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my family gathered to pray. It was my brother's turn to pray and he ended with this, "...and help Chev that he does not become the disappointment everyone expects him to be. Amen." I looked on in shock as my entire family nodded and said "Amen" in agreement. Hi, I'm Chev. FML

#5293926
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39650) - you deserved it (4628)

On 09/16/2009 at 3:58pm - misc - by jaskyriddims (man) - Dominica (Saint George)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37080) - you deserved it (4043)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML

#4978107
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42970) - you deserved it (8128)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML

#4483949
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38820) - you deserved it (3788)

On 08/12/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by ForeverEmbarrassed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53230) - you deserved it (19912)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)



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