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Offline (the 10/18/2014 at 3:00am) | Search for a member
About theboringdolphin : hi everyone(: I love people with an awesome sense of humor, I love to read & listen to music. I'm not sure what else to say about myself but if you wanna know more feel free to leave a message!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML
Today, while waiting for a plane, a man in a wheelchair was struggling to get to baggage, so I helped him. I did so without realising that I passed through the "No Entry" gate. What did I forget? My phone, my ID, and my boarding pass. What do you need to get back to the plane? All of those. FML
Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML
Today, I found out via a voicemail from my boss that my hours are being cut. He said, "They said I can't fire you, so you'll only be getting 20 hours a week. Starting today." Who'd they give my other 20 hours to? The one person that calls off sick almost daily and is never on time. FML
Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML
Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML
Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML
On 09/28/2014 at 10:49pm - love - by mindjob -
Friday 24 October 2014