Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

theboringdolphin

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

theboringdolphin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1365
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About theboringdolphin : hi everyone(: I love people with an awesome sense of humor, I love to read & listen to music. I'm not sure what else to say about myself but if you wanna know more feel free to leave a message!

theboringdolphin's page activity

Visits<b>moksha</b> - 13 hours ago<b>GamerPerson</b> - yesterday at 7:13am<b>suchcris</b> - yesterday at 11:30pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 2:52pm<b>killer0689</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 11:28pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Jason324</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 2:16am<b>aguynamednick</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 2:00am<b>therealjc</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:21am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:13am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 8:09am<b>Mr_Brightside209</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:49am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 7:56pm<b>peanuty001</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 6:45pm<b>NehNehPwn</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 8:23pm<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 5:52pm<b>csofball7</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 9:39am<b>morondon000</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 9:40am

theboringdolphin's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of theboringdolphin's badges

theboringdolphin's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML

#21266998
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30691) - you deserved it (4223)

On 09/28/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by jquaw - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

#21266558
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25215) - you deserved it (4791)

On 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

#21266131
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31507) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/27/2014 at 12:22am - work - by heretoserve (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30969) - you deserved it (3183)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

#21265875
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27852) - you deserved it (2273)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we had a meeting at my job and we had to introduce new ideas to our boss. Earlier, I was talking to one of my close friends who also attended the meeting about my idea. As we start the meeting, she decides to steal my idea and take complete credit for it. My boss loves "her" idea. FML

#21265023
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33875) - you deserved it (5570)

On 09/25/2014 at 8:18am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

#21264930
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26460) - you deserved it (13010)

On 09/25/2014 at 2:21am - health - by skollasch - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML

#21263689
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30171) - you deserved it (2847)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

#21263128
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32661) - you deserved it (2552)

On 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you deserved it (5386)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33293) - you deserved it (2381)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38397) - you deserved it (3551)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39159) - you deserved it (3336)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (5362)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: