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theboringdolphin

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theboringdolphin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1222
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About theboringdolphin : hi everyone(: I love people with an awesome sense of humor, I love to read & listen to music. I'm not sure what else to say about myself but if you wanna know more feel free to leave a message!

theboringdolphin's page activity

Visits<b>Jason324</b> - 2 hours ago<b>aguynamednick</b> - 3 hours ago<b>therealjc</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Welshite</b> - yesterday at 11:13am<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 8:09am<b>Mr_Brightside209</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:49am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 7:56pm<b>peanuty001</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 6:45pm<b>NehNehPwn</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 8:23pm<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 5:52pm<b>csofball7</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 9:39am<b>morondon000</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 9:40am<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 9:24am<b>mattlikesfunions</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:28am<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:14am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:54am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 7:38am

theboringdolphin's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of theboringdolphin's badges

theboringdolphin's favorite FMLs

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20408) - you deserved it (2041)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my son ran up to me holding out his hand and crying about an "owie". I quickly kissed it better to get him to calm down before I checked it out. I didn't have to look to figure out that he wasn't crying over being hurt, he was upset over the large amount of poop on his hands. FML

#21248882
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19101) - you deserved it (5641)

On 08/31/2014 at 3:22am - kids - by motherslove (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30119) - you deserved it (6839)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30377) - you deserved it (2395)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got a job. My parents have decided it's now a better idea to take money from my paycheck instead of grounding me. FML

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

#21247836
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29333) - you deserved it (7707)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32687) - you deserved it (2967)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31851) - you deserved it (4313)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32665) - you deserved it (2476)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32526) - you deserved it (2604)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30735) - you deserved it (28865)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18449) - you deserved it (38920)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31513) - you deserved it (5255)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)



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