Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 10/17/2015 at 1:58pm) | Search for a member
About thebestintheworl : i Love: My Chemical Romance, Marilyn Manson, Motionless In White, ,CM Punk, Mike Kuza, Pokémon, Boondock Saints, WWE And The Walking Dead. What I Love In Music: My Chemical Romance, Marilyn Manson, Motionless In White, In This Moment, KUZA, Cage The Elephant, Panic! At The Disco, Fall Out Boy, All Time Low, Black Veil Brides, A Day To Remember, Blink 182, Green Day, Alice In Chains, Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pop Evil, VolBeat, Killswitch Engage, Metallica, Godsmack, Rush, Good Charlotte, Soundgarden, Slipknot, KoRn, Rob Zombie,And Seether. Pansexual Genderfluid Laveyan Satanist (He/They)
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, during a class, I noticed some racist statements and symbols on a table. While erasing them, I bent down to pick up my dropped pencil. I look back up to see a teacher, and got a suspension. FML
Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML
Today, my parents, not trusting me and my boyfriend, told us to call them in the middle of our movie so they could hear it, and prove we weren't up to no good. Well, I called. Just as a raging sex scene started. FML
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Today, I have a cold and need to blow my nose all the time. The problem is that every time I blow my nose, I get a nosebleed. When I breathe through my mouth, I have a coughing fit. So I have to choose between not breathing, coughing up mucus or blowing blood. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, my little sister put on some black eyeliner on my eyes. About half an hour later, my eyes started to hurt. Eyeliner never hurt for me; so I went to the bathroom to check it out. My sister wasn't using eyeliner. It was a black watercolor pencil. Now I have black bits inside my eyes. FML
Monday 30 November 2015