Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

thebestintheworl

Search for a member

thebestintheworl
  • Town/Country : Pallet town, Kanto
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 April 1999 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 3281
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About thebestintheworl : i Love: The Shield(WWE Tag Team) ,CM Punk, Marilyn Manson, Motionless In White, Mike Kuza, Pokémon, Boondock Saints, WWE And The Walking Dead. What I Love In Music: Motionless In White, Marilyn Manson, KUZA, Cage The Elephant, All Time Low, Black Veil Brides, Falling In Reverse, Escape The Fate, A Day To Remember, Asking Alexandria, Blink 182, Green Day, Alice In Chains, Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pop Evil, VolBeat, Killswitch Engage, Metallica, Godsmack, Rush, Yellowcard, Good Charlotte, Soundgarden, Slipknot, KoRn, Rob Zombie, Shinedown, Avenged Sevenfold, Three Days Grace And Seether. And I LOVE Marilyn Manson ( And Twiggy.)! I Am Not A "Normal" Girl, I Don't Find Guys Like Brad Pitt Or Any Other Pretty Boy Sexy, I Find Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, CM Punk, Josh Balz, Chris Motionless, Ricky Horror, Mike Kuza, Angelo Parente, Ryan Sitkowski, Devin Ghost Sola, Brandon Rage, Marilyn Manson, All Of BVB, Norman Reedus & Batista Sexy. and I'm An Atheist. sXe

thebestintheworl's last visitors

bossyassatl904Ben009unworldlyalexK_kanakaironfeyByrdiBlack_Rose_14NarttuKitty19cba7HowieDoIt

thebestintheworl's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of thebestintheworl's badges

thebestintheworl's favorite FMLs

Today, for the first time in years, I broke down in tears, over a Hallmark commercial. FML

#18157234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20540) - you deserved it (5963)

On 11/04/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (13334)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

#18130985
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38435) - you deserved it (3779)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:50pm - health - by stitchesupmyass (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21542) - you deserved it (20510)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56336) - you deserved it (4484)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

#18109383
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30338) - you deserved it (8405)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

#18093315
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (2417)

On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

#18057000
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20202) - you deserved it (2916)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm - love - by Mrs. Terrified - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39425) - you deserved it (18404)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML

#18047798
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27176) - you deserved it (15491)

On 10/22/2011 at 5:51pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

#18043699
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16211) - you deserved it (46469)

On 10/22/2011 at 2:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

#18036451
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20902) - you deserved it (3983)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60220) - you deserved it (2953)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after being admitted to the emergency room for severe abdominal pain, my boyfriend shouted out in front of my parents, "At least she isn't pregnant!" FML

#17959837
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (2803)

On 10/11/2011 at 1:43pm - health - by letmedienow - United States

Today, my Dad's banjo arrived, as part of his mid-life crisis. It would be fine if he could play it but unfortunately he's tone deaf. He hasn't stopped playing it for the last 4 hours. FML

#17927244
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18163) - you deserved it (1638)

On 10/07/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: