About thebestintheworl : I Love Pokémon,WWE,CM PUNK,Blood On The Dance Floor,SMOSH,The Walking Dead,Harry Potter,Spongebob And Teen Titans. What I Like In Music:All Time Low,Blood On The Dance Floor,Alice In Chains,Pearl Jam,Soundgarden,Rush,Korn And Lamb Of God. And I Don't Like Justin Bieber,Nicki Minaj,Taylor Swift Or One Direction. (And I Don't Send Or Reply To Messages.) Plus I Hate Twilight.
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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
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Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25425) - you deserved it (4109)
On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was at work when a cute guy came up to me and said he liked my shirt. In a desperate attempt to say something back, I said, "Thanks, I like your shoelaces." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15919) - you deserved it (4305)
On 07/19/2012 at 6:31pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4983) - you deserved it (45365)
On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, while at work, a lady with a mustache came in and told me she was lost. I was happy to help, but could not stop rubbing my nose due to allergies. As she left she said, "I know I have a mustache you little ass" and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20612) - you deserved it (2070)
On 07/16/2012 at 12:08am - work - by crazyautio - United States
Today, my mother screamed at my brother for ages for playing a Nicki Minaj music video. She said it's "terrible, demonic garbage" that'll get us "spitroasted in Hell". I don't even disagree with the first part, but she does this kind of thing every single day when I get home from my night job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13011) - you deserved it (1609)
On 07/14/2012 at 8:22pm - misc - by arghgffhdfg (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3499) - you deserved it (34108)
On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)
Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7721) - you deserved it (21673)
On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21759) - you deserved it (2205)
On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14462) - you deserved it (7998)
On 07/09/2012 at 11:09am - love - by randomguy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (2961)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19644) - you deserved it (2171) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/05/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by FauteuilEver Alone (man) - France
Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15847) - you deserved it (4463)
On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I stumbled across my ex's blog. Apparently, while dating me, he realized he was gay. Good to know the one guy I've dated, lost my virginity to, and fell in love with, was never truly attracted to me and was dating me just to be sure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23323) - you deserved it (1708)
On 06/28/2012 at 11:28am - love - by FMlovelife (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19198) - you deserved it (3371)
On 06/27/2012 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18295) - you deserved it (3495)
On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)
Monday 20 May 2013
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