Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

thebestintheworl

Offline (the 07/26/2015 at 2:51am) | Search for a member

thebestintheworl

5Fucked!

thebestintheworlthebestintheworl
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 April 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9973
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About thebestintheworl : i Love: My Chemical Romance, Marilyn Manson, Motionless In White, ,CM Punk, Mike Kuza, Pokémon, Boondock Saints, WWE And The Walking Dead. What I Love In Music: My Chemical Romance, Marilyn Manson, Motionless In White, In This Moment, KUZA, Cage The Elephant, Panic! At The Disco, Fall Out Boy, All Time Low, Black Veil Brides, Falling In Reverse, Escape The Fate, A Day To Remember, Asking Alexandria, Blink 182, Green Day, Alice In Chains, Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pop Evil, VolBeat, Killswitch Engage, Metallica, Godsmack, Rush, Good Charlotte, Soundgarden, Slipknot, KoRn, Rob Zombie,And Seether. Pansexual Genderfluid Laveyan Satanist (They/He)

thebestintheworl's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 7:53am<b>moron011</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:11pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:36pm<b>ken29</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 3:04pm<b>JimMorrisonROX</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:55am<b>charliedee</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 12:37am<b>darkangel224</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 1:47am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:48am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:52pm<b>thesmeagol</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 2:08pm<b>aj9319</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 10:52am<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:53am<b>lagreeni</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:32am<b>cmy0072011</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:07pm<b>somedude601</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 8:12pm<b>gman123999</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:59am<b>cutiesoprano22</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 3:43pm<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 10:46pm

Fucked!<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 11:11pm<b>Devindelon</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:56pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 12:17pm<b>mypineapple</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 9:20am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 10:42am

thebestintheworl's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of thebestintheworl's badges

thebestintheworl's favorite FMLs

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38397) - you deserved it (5891)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

#20579905
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37163) - you deserved it (8294)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML

#20579736
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33152) - you deserved it (2265)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:00pm - animals - by idontevenlikehamsters - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

#20577290
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57370) - you deserved it (5192)

On 04/06/2013 at 10:15am - intimacy - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52806) - you deserved it (5808)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

#20576602
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46420) - you deserved it (7995)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45809) - you deserved it (4587)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML

#20576079
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37433) - you deserved it (9447)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:34pm - money - by Z'ev - United States (New York)

Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

#20575140
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39862) - you deserved it (3542)

On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42786) - you deserved it (3862)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

#20574865
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36355) - you deserved it (6314)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my washing machine broke down, within its warranty. I asked my neighbour if she could open the door for the mechanic while I was at work; she agreed. When I came home, I had a bill for 80 bucks for not opening the door. Her reason? She was busy watching her favorite TV show. FML

#20573502
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34070) - you deserved it (4796)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Jack -

Today, the McDonald's in my town ran out of fries. I was the one who had to tell all the angry customers we had no more fries in the store. FML

#20571214
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36021) - you deserved it (3698)

On 04/02/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44668) - you deserved it (3127)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: