Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 07/26/2015 at 2:51am) | Search for a member
About thebestintheworl : i Love: My Chemical Romance, Marilyn Manson, Motionless In White, ,CM Punk, Mike Kuza, Pokémon, Boondock Saints, WWE And The Walking Dead. What I Love In Music: My Chemical Romance, Marilyn Manson, Motionless In White, In This Moment, KUZA, Cage The Elephant, Panic! At The Disco, Fall Out Boy, All Time Low, Black Veil Brides, Falling In Reverse, Escape The Fate, A Day To Remember, Asking Alexandria, Blink 182, Green Day, Alice In Chains, Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pop Evil, VolBeat, Killswitch Engage, Metallica, Godsmack, Rush, Good Charlotte, Soundgarden, Slipknot, KoRn, Rob Zombie,And Seether. Pansexual Genderfluid Laveyan Satanist (They/He)
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML
Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML
Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML
Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML
Today, I was dying my hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn my hair a shade or two lighter, but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple. FML
Friday 24 July 2015