About thebestintheworl : I Love Pokémon,WWE,CM PUNK,Blood On The Dance Floor,SMOSH,The Walking Dead,Harry Potter,Spongebob And Teen Titans. What I Like In Music:All Time Low,Blood On The Dance Floor,Alice In Chains,Pearl Jam,Soundgarden,Rush,Korn And Lamb Of God. And I Don't Like Justin Bieber,Nicki Minaj,Taylor Swift Or One Direction. (And I Don't Send Or Reply To Messages.) Plus I Hate Twilight.
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Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39122) - you deserved it (5238)
On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43531) - you deserved it (1648)
On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States
Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35456) - you deserved it (4385)
On 05/01/2013 at 7:22pm - animals - by Annonymous_Dad (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8647) - you deserved it (48279)
On 05/01/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by QueenOrangeSoda (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19996) - you deserved it (43185)
On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51514) - you deserved it (3370)
On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States
Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32798) - you deserved it (7060)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48161) - you deserved it (3288)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47799) - you deserved it (3364)
On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19732) - you deserved it (36766)
On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46205) - you deserved it (5585)
On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43521) - you deserved it (10350)
On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States
Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50418) - you deserved it (4659)
On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36867) - you deserved it (2867)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I had a big party planned. All but one of the guests cancelled. See you at 7, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40473) - you deserved it (2944)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands
Friday 24 May 2013
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