About thebestintheworl : I Love Pokémon,WWE,CM PUNK,Blood On The Dance Floor,SMOSH,The Walking Dead,Harry Potter,Spongebob And Teen Titans. What I Like In Music:All Time Low,Blood On The Dance Floor,Alice In Chains,Pearl Jam,Soundgarden,Rush,Korn And Lamb Of God. And I Don't Like Justin Bieber,Nicki Minaj,Taylor Swift Or One Direction. (And I Don't Send Or Reply To Messages.) Plus I Hate Twilight.
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Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11077) - you deserved it (626)
On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28979) - you deserved it (2056)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33338) - you deserved it (7961)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States
Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31724) - you deserved it (3810)
On 05/20/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by ElhonnaDS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48116) - you deserved it (2425)
On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41481) - you deserved it (5754)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41192) - you deserved it (3614)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States
Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33871) - you deserved it (4166)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43397) - you deserved it (11568)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43419) - you deserved it (4102)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58927) - you deserved it (3587)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44950) - you deserved it (2585)
Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36145) - you deserved it (6067)
On 05/11/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46168) - you deserved it (5581)
On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States
Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34813) - you deserved it (6303)
On 05/09/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by fml0505 (man) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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