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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to Target. I was on my way to the bathroom when I find a huge mirror. No one was around so I started to see how my butt looked in my jeans, checked up my nose and fixed my bra. An older woman then walks out of a door next to the mirror and explains that it's a two-way mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15018) - you deserved it (32167)
On 05/08/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by cammy123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (285100) - you deserved it (28924)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74614) - you deserved it (2894)
On 04/04/2009 at 3:03pm - work - by Lifeguard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43170) - you deserved it (492814)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (471374) - you deserved it (585287)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51022) - you deserved it (5971)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)
Today, while leaving school to skip fourth period, I hit someone's car in the parking lot. It was the teacher's whose class I was going to skip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7898) - you deserved it (45457)
On 02/20/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by Ava777 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26110) - you deserved it (3634)
On 02/15/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Salaryman (man) - Philippines (Rizal)
Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (75041) - you deserved it (30824)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 (woman) - France
Monday 17 June 2013
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