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thardtke

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thardtke
  • Town/Country : Rochester, MN, usa
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 February 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 52
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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thardtke's favorite FMLs

Today, I received the photos my friend took of me proposing to my girlfriend. I'd proposed at the place we'd first met: the local zoo. When I looked them over, I noticed there was an elephant taking a poop in the background. FML

#19792340
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21137) - you deserved it (3616)

On 06/15/2012 at 1:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9394) - you deserved it (17623)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12028) - you deserved it (22142)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38470) - you deserved it (3667)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

#19719748
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13597) - you deserved it (26603)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43860) - you deserved it (8536)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34451) - you deserved it (6678)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23550) - you deserved it (4524)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23857) - you deserved it (7844)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

#7084392
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23161) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)



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