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tf5f89's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
tf5f89's favorite FMLs
by whatdidimarry / 09/24/2015 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Miscellaneous
Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML
by Urinator / 09/16/2015 at 2:26pm / United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross) / Animals
by mr_cheese / 10/22/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2014 at 1:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonytard / 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I threw an eraser at my brother to get his attention because he couldn't hear me over his music. Being in a bad mood, he thought I was trying to aggravate his bad mood and responded by throwing a small desk cactus back. FML
by ThatGuyWithFMLs / 02/25/2014 at 4:31am / Japan (Osaka) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/24/2014 at 10:21am / United States / Transportation
Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 4:59am / Russian Federation (Lipetsk) / Love
Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML
by time to lawyer up / 02/20/2014 at 4:20pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML
by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat / 11/27/2013 at 2:08am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by maxhhh / 11/16/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Health
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…