Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 516
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About texaslonghorn : Hook 'em

texaslonghorn's page activity

Visits<b>Bobsaw8081</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 10:33pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 9:36pm<b>BillyTheGoat</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:41pm<b>mariahu661</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 8:40am<b>munuxi</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 1:55pm<b>cOOkiEzRgOOd</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 12:42am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:21pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 8:15pm<b>eddie1122</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:12am<b>GoldFishPony</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:51pm<b>pizzaturtles</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 2:14am<b>hahayeahsooo</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 9:19pm<b>plzent3r</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:14pm<b>tsent8</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 9:06pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 10:42pm<b>anonymous248</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 8:43am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:47pm<b>maybaybe</b> - the 12/31/2010 at 10:53pm

texaslonghorn's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

texaslonghorn's favorite FMLs

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

by bob / 08/11/2011 at 8:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

by IRum / 08/11/2011 at 4:45am / Russian Federation / Kids

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

by assante2010 / 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML

by Fresca11 / 06/28/2011 at 8:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally found out who has been sending me hate letters, it's my husband's ex-wife. They've been divorced for 7 years. FML

by nasty_ex / 06/21/2011 at 8:25am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML

by Maddie / 06/20/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML

by Maddie / 06/20/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was driving my motorcycle, and I noticed someone was in the ditch, so I went to go help them. When the ambulance showed up, they ran over my bike, totaling it. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2011 at 9:11pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

by Punk / 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, the only positive thing my ex boyfriend left me was my pregnancy test. FML

by Emma-Louise / 05/20/2011 at 3:46pm / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

by Chels / 05/11/2011 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

by notacreeper / 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm / Love

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why I'd be angry if he had a foursome with 3 other people. FML

by Dilly_20 / 02/22/2011 at 1:00pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I went on a double date with my bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minutes after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. FML

by Sara1990 / 08/23/2010 at 7:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Love