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texaslonghorn

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texaslonghorn
  • Town/Country : Austin, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 412
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About texaslonghorn : Hook 'em

texaslonghorn's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

texaslonghorn's favorite FMLs

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43048) - you deserved it (4550)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

#17438082
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24766) - you deserved it (4748)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:45am - kids - by IRum (man) - Russian Federation

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

#17233282
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50462) - you deserved it (6022)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29012) - you deserved it (86335)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML

#16903308
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38264) - you deserved it (11579)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:51pm - misc - by Fresca11 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally found out who has been sending me hate letters, it's my husband's ex-wife. They've been divorced for 7 years. FML

#16778449
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you deserved it (2809)

On 06/21/2011 at 8:25am - love - by nasty_ex - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML

#16765667
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48116) - you deserved it (4958)

On 06/20/2011 at 4:05pm - love - by Maddie - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML

#16765667
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48116) - you deserved it (4958)

On 06/20/2011 at 4:05pm - love - by Maddie - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was driving my motorcycle, and I noticed someone was in the ditch, so I went to go help them. When the ambulance showed up, they ran over my bike, totaling it. FML

#16734603
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35364) - you deserved it (3132)

On 06/18/2011 at 9:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

#16548173
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35076) - you deserved it (9902)

On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States

Today, the only positive thing my ex boyfriend left me was my pregnancy test. FML

#16268222
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52692) - you deserved it (12055)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Emma-Louise (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57561) - you deserved it (4484)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

#15655514
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33704) - you deserved it (4555)

On 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by notacreeper -

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why I'd be angry if he had a foursome with 3 other people. FML

#15078175
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32235) - you deserved it (4704)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by Dilly_20 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a double date with my bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minutes after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. FML

#12698820
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28305) - you deserved it (4778)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:40am - love - by Sara1990 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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