texashater75

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Offline (the 05/27/2016 at 5:55pm)

texashater75

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Sacramento, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 January 1975 (41 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1800
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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texashater75's page activity

Visits<b>Sunshinenwhiskey</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 1:24pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 5:14pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 3:14am<b>alice2lacy</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 1:20pm<b>crayon_chomper</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 9:05pm<b>inutaru</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:43am<b>Melina7492</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:41pm<b>markymarkkkk</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 3:54pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:14pm<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:30am<b>BornActor</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 11:08am<b>BBlah</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:25pm<b>conman317</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 11:29am<b>jaannotsatisfied</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:16am<b>serisu</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 1:17am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:38pm<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 8:30pm

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texashater75's favorite FMLs

Today, my blind date started with, "I am required by law to tell you this: I am a registered sex offender." FML

by w0w / 04/22/2016 at 8:12am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

by goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt / 09/07/2013 at 5:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

by Hannah / 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML

by Aberrombie Blue / 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

by maturity / 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

by stillfuckingcrying / 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm / Sweden (Kalmar Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, due to technical problems, I had to call the company's IT-support as my computer went totally haywire. I explained via phone that I couldn't access anything. The support then tried contacting me by e-mail and got upset with me when I didn't answer. FML

by Beva / 01/17/2013 at 12:03am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Work

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

by GamerTag / 10/02/2012 at 9:11am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

by Nightmares / 08/07/2012 at 9:19am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my sister and I had a huge fight because I flushed the toilet while she was taking a bath. The faucet for the bath was not running, but she insisted that she felt the water in the tub turn "scalding hot." She won't listen when I try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that. FML

by Raaaaage / 07/22/2012 at 2:54am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

by sigh / 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

by jonasister / 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

by anonymous / 03/20/2012 at 6:33pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Love