terribletowel64

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Offline (the 03/22/2015 at 8:08pm)

terribletowel64

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 December 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 804
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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terribletowel64's page activity

Visits<b>Anfroyo</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 4:13pm<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 2:44am<b>cupcake1126</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 8:50pm<b>DrownedMyFish</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 10:38pm

terribletowel64's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of terribletowel64's badges

terribletowel64's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

by gengiskarn69 / 03/12/2012 at 10:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML

by OwMyBalls / 02/12/2012 at 1:17am / Love

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2012 at 12:04am / Miscellaneous

Today, I flew to Dubai, en route to my new job in Afghanistan. Both of my bags were lost, my debit card was frozen in London, the next flight was cancelled, and I can't get a hotel room. I'm in the richest city in world with no money and no room. Happy New Year. FML

by EdwinOEF / 12/31/2011 at 5:36pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Holidays

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

by Grossed Out / 12/29/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my best friend won $1,000 in a photography contest. With a photo I took. FML

by Jessica / 12/26/2011 at 11:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML

by nirvana_mama157 / 11/28/2011 at 7:51am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

by cheated / 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML

by lollipopgreen / 10/01/2011 at 8:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to call the doctor to go and have them remove a tick that had got stuck to my man-parts while fishing. The receptionist laughed, she thought I was prank calling. FML

by ouchies / 05/04/2011 at 10:38pm / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2011 at 12:32am / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

by Anon. / 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy