About teoriginalG : Fuck all them haters, fuck all them hoes.
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teoriginalG's favorite FMLs
Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML
by Carmen / 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by CheeseyPotatoes / 04/11/2011 at 9:16am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by blower / 04/11/2011 at 12:01am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML
by oc_cheergirl / 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm / United States / Intimacy
by dahs / 04/03/2011 at 7:27am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML
by kingpin7 / 03/30/2011 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/14/2011 at 3:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/14/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Username / 03/12/2011 at 12:10am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML
by mike / 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
by Laura / 03/11/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Jim / 03/10/2011 at 1:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
by Anon / 03/10/2011 at 10:08am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy