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About teoriginalG : Fuck all them haters, fuck all them hoes.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment randomly to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually randomly stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51546) - you deserved it (3891)
On 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Carmen - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6957) - you deserved it (22538)
On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (6778)
On 04/11/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by blower - United States (Colorado)
Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6881) - you deserved it (1875)
On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20097) - you deserved it (33361)
On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38284) - you deserved it (10250)
On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29637) - you deserved it (10479)
On 04/03/2011 at 7:27am - intimacy - by dahs - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30321) - you deserved it (7426)
On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17066) - you deserved it (9535)
On 03/14/2011 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by way of making me an account on an online dating site. He then emailed me the account information and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25286) - you deserved it (2268)
On 03/14/2011 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37614) - you deserved it (6154)
On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19510) - you deserved it (5034)
On 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by mike - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20652) - you deserved it (3114)
On 03/11/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Laura (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my friends told me that they couldn't make it to my birthday dinner unless I changed the time, because I'd made dinner reservations that would clash with the new episode of Jersey Shore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28434) - you deserved it (6812)
On 03/10/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by Jim - United States
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37745) - you deserved it (6940)
On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
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