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Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25629) - you deserved it (2645)
On 08/25/2011 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that my mother-in-law is house hunting in my town. There is a house for sale 2 doors down from me. In her price range. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (1757)
On 08/25/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by momma6126 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (3916)
On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16301) - you deserved it (29488)
On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27063) - you deserved it (3321)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24841) - you deserved it (2152)
On 08/18/2011 at 4:45am - work - by Academia (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28885) - you deserved it (8539)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39646) - you deserved it (3639)
On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43323) - you deserved it (7600)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He'd known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22701) - you deserved it (6175)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:13am - love - by HaHa Not Funny (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20047) - you deserved it (4448)
On 08/01/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by vsf - United States
Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you deserved it (6351)
On 07/28/2011 at 11:25am - health - by 99520 - United States (Indiana)
Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23762) - you deserved it (13474)
On 07/26/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by frankkathy - United States (Texas)
Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28151) - you deserved it (1790)
On 07/22/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by MailMaster (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26836) - you deserved it (1961)
On 07/21/2011 at 10:10am - health - by blah (man) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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