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tencentsakiss

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tencentsakiss
  • Town/Country : MD, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11061
  • Number of comments : 998
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About tencentsakiss : Animals are my life. I love riding horses, fostering kittens, vet teching, and working on the farm. I'm a very stubborn person, and stick to my convictions. I also enjoy working with computers in my spare time, and am a computer forensics major.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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tencentsakiss's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

#13975115
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (6386)

On 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

#13975115
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (6386)

On 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

#13959024
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18945) - you deserved it (5790)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:55am - money - by hoogimo -

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

#13959024
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18945) - you deserved it (5790)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:55am - money - by hoogimo -

Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML

#13948319
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29217) - you deserved it (2263)

On 11/23/2010 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that 95% of my facebook friends added me only because they think my sisters are hot. FML

#13944368
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24036) - you deserved it (3107)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by smallfrie32 -

Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML

#13932750
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11537) - you deserved it (23542)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML

#13932750
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11537) - you deserved it (23542)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

#13930948
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31244) - you deserved it (4356)

On 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm - animals - by dickwebs - Germany

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML

#13930186
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18020) - you deserved it (3382)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an electric razor and a lesson from my dad on how to shave my mustache and chin. I also got my period. FML

#13906340
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36084) - you deserved it (3809)

On 11/20/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Tasha84 - United States (Texas)

Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML

#13886809
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27953) - you deserved it (5177)

On 11/18/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

#13873567
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20318) - you deserved it (4906)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

#13873380
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5983) - you deserved it (24895)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:34am - work - by workaholic -

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

#13871078
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12878) - you deserved it (46768)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:43pm - work - by T_Willl -



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