Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tencentsakiss

Search for a member

tencentsakiss
  • Town/Country : MD, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11031
  • Number of comments : 998
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About tencentsakiss : Animals are my life. I love riding horses, fostering kittens, vet teching, and working on the farm. I'm a very stubborn person, and stick to my convictions. I also enjoy working with computers in my spare time, and am a computer forensics major.

tencentsakiss's last visitors

hnm114ShadowvoidRoseWithThornsPotterHead_DHannie29

tencentsakiss's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of tencentsakiss's badges

tencentsakiss's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML

#16395878
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39064) - you deserved it (7289)

On 05/29/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Username - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML

#16395878
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39064) - you deserved it (7289)

On 05/29/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Username - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got the wedding dress I've been waiting months to see. It turns out that my mom ordered the dress 2 sizes smaller than my size, this way it will be "an incentive to lose weight". FML

#16350692
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31594) - you deserved it (5355)

On 05/25/2011 at 11:19pm - health - by Angelica - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that whenever I send my son to his room, he goes on his iPod and buys the most expensive apps he can find. So far I've been charged $600. FML

#16332593
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19107) - you deserved it (45209)

On 05/24/2011 at 8:02pm - kids - by StupidApple -

Today, on my metro ride home, I sat next to a woman who thought it was appropriate to continually scratch at her scalp and then eat her 'scalp pickings'. When I looked over at her hair, I could see scabs clumped together from her previous scratching sessions. FML

Today, it was my first day as an animal control officer. My first dispatch was to collect a dog that had been hit by a car. I had to clean up my dead dog on my first day of a job that barely pays rent. FML

#16245376
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46817) - you deserved it (2842)

On 05/18/2011 at 10:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12973) - you deserved it (40576)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found my dead phone that had been missing for two weeks. I turned it on to see that I had only gotten 2 text messages during the two weeks. They were both from my mother. FML

#15792275
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29436) - you deserved it (5715)

On 04/15/2011 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

#15741479
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42517) - you deserved it (6197)

On 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm - intimacy - by Numb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML

#15733743
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36917) - you deserved it (8342)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by blower - United States (Colorado)

Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML

#15447390
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28305) - you deserved it (3809)

On 03/23/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by EllieJ -

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46550) - you deserved it (7649)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35988) - you deserved it (22606)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my assistant manager was arguing with a customer. I interjected letting the customer know that "we want everything to be copacetic." After the customer left, I received a write up for using "big words." FML

#15150978
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20445) - you deserved it (3833)

On 02/28/2011 at 11:26am - work - by Username -

Today, I went to my first ever high school party with music, drinks, and dancing. Within a few minutes of taking my first ever shot of tequila, I was in the worst pain in my life. My parents were called and I had to be taken to the hospital. I'm alcohol intolerant. FML

#15141263
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37001) - you deserved it (11276)

On 02/27/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by Stormy (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: