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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37734) - you deserved it (7269)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I scraped the ice off my boss's car windows and thought it'd be funny to scrape a swastika in the ice on his roof. I didn't realize until it thawed off that it scratched it into the paint. He didn't find much humor in it and is making me pay for the damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4532) - you deserved it (52960)
On 02/04/2011 at 3:11am - work - by Username -
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5688) - you deserved it (70357)
On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States
Today, I was chatting with a cute guy on Omegle. He seemed really friendly and interested after I had showed him a picture of me. When I mentioned that I play music, he seemed even more interested, so I gave him the link to my music Myspace. I waited patiently. He disconnected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6203) - you deserved it (13475)
On 02/23/2010 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5954) - you deserved it (13680)
On 02/23/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by lendahandmanda (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street came up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks for the confidence boost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20038) - you deserved it (1596)
On 02/22/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by sandiego - United States (Texas)
Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16356) - you deserved it (3683)
On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was in school and spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her I broke her nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7627) - you deserved it (21626)
On 02/17/2010 at 3:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12136) - you deserved it (3456)
On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5581) - you deserved it (23197)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31328) - you deserved it (2466)
On 02/07/2010 at 11:03pm - love - by Hm (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of three years who I helped through drug rehab and find employment in my office left me for someone else. His explanation was that now that his "head is not clouded with chemicals" and he "makes decent money", he wants to settle down with someone worthy of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26398) - you deserved it (2451)
On 02/03/2010 at 9:17pm - love - by dracer (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14330) - you deserved it (3114)
On 01/27/2010 at 6:55am - intimacy - by Patrick - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27701) - you deserved it (9052)
On 01/26/2010 at 1:05am - love - by Eagle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my fiancée texts me while out at a restaurant. She told me that she saw one of my high school friends there, and that he asked "How's Douglas doing?". She then asked me who Douglas is. Douglas is my legal name. We've been together for over three years and she didn't know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15887) - you deserved it (7019)
On 01/25/2010 at 6:06am - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version
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