Life isn't wasted, when you're getting wasted
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41082) - you totally deserved it (10420)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. When I was approaching a stop sign, I look next to me and see a guy with a triangle shaped head. I tell my son "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4605) - you totally deserved it (42184)
On 05/03/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by mylifesucks123 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43746) - you totally deserved it (6005)
On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. TWICE. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25296) - you totally deserved it (72191)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I tasted the rainbow. By that, I mean a homeless man hit me in the face with a bag of Skittles for not giving him money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66177) - you totally deserved it (8171)
On 04/03/2009 at 5:43am - money - by rovery (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (95968) - you totally deserved it (22438)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my over-protective mom decided to do a blacklight test on my room to make sure I wasn't doing the naughty in my bed. The bed was clean. My face wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31377) - you totally deserved it (70130)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:11am - intimacy - by crzyl8buddhist (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9809) - you totally deserved it (48083)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23502) - you totally deserved it (175591)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59516) - you totally deserved it (14637)
On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18470) - you totally deserved it (5815)
On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)
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