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Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33504) - you totally deserved it (9264) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked in the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6629) - you totally deserved it (48031)
On 04/29/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my family was talking about how people's hair goes gray when they get old. My grandma mentioned that she was initially attracted to my grandpa because of his red hair and was sad when it turned gray. "It's ok," she continued, "his pubic hair is still red." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50334) - you totally deserved it (1906)
On 04/27/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14677) - you totally deserved it (64425)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (264100) - you totally deserved it (14478)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:54am - intimacy - by yada (woman) - United States (Illinois)
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