About tdttstxt : Canadian girlie
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70472) - you deserved it (2712)
On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26838) - you deserved it (38227)
On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston, and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing, the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply, and my entire naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65926) - you deserved it (5254)
On 04/20/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50539) - you deserved it (2255)
On 04/17/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19149) - you deserved it (100919)
On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by katem (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got back a paper after a peer review. I had worked really hard on it over the last week and was proud of the end result. When I got the paper back the only positive comment on the paper was "well I really like the blue staple you used to hold it together." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42937) - you deserved it (3637)
On 04/10/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by Kim (woman) - United States
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20532) - you deserved it (350836)
On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (55182)
On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19901) - you deserved it (63825)
On 03/11/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by theassman (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461181) - you deserved it (572954)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (66414) - you deserved it (6629)
On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37196) - you deserved it (18385)
On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20236) - you deserved it (1169)
On 11/17/2008 at 11:42pm - misc - by ... - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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