![[fr]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31183) - you deserved it (2808)
On 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28420) - you deserved it (2664)
On 10/24/2010 at 12:11am - love - by altocrm - Sent from mobile version
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20176) - you deserved it (2058)
On 10/20/2010 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22532) - you deserved it (7012)
On 07/27/2010 at 2:44pm - kids - by mr - United States (Michigan)
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (6136)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML
I agree, your life sucks (21168) - you deserved it (4688)
On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21877) - you deserved it (3346)
On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML
I agree, your life sucks (3573) - you deserved it (13335)
On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16281) - you deserved it (1496)
On 02/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by unfortunate419 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up with a hangover. I had a party last night. Besides a stolen TV, someone seemingly decided to take a dump in my piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9434) - you deserved it (17254)
On 01/28/2010 at 6:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Telemark)
Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13965) - you deserved it (2274)
On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States
Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13300) - you deserved it (4379)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my 4 year old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her clevage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23100) - you deserved it (2885)
On 01/01/2010 at 9:12am - kids - by andy - United States (New York)
Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (30608) - you deserved it (2167)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12363) - you deserved it (19235)
On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
